We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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