I need to stop coming to work sober
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
