just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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