She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
