dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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