It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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