so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i've created a new STD.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
