Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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