so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
