dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
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It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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