You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
