you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
