Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
