I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
