oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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