you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Holy sore nipples Batman
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
