What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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