You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
