Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
