I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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