yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
