it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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