and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
