but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
