I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
