What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
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