Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
