Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
