No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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