Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
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