I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
meet me or not, i'm out of control
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
