just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize