I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
