she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
