Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
