Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
