no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
