I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize