I molested 6 butterflies tonight
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
