That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
