I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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