How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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