It's Friday. Sex?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
