There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
