he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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