I look better un-naked...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
