Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
