Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
