My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
