How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
