If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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