is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
