How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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