apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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