Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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