Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
