your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize