I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
