My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
