So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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