That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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