The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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