It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
