Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
