these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
