I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I will pee on everything he values.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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