yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize