you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
