Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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