He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
