I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
