I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
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I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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