think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
